The familiarity of our old captivity
Exodus 14:13
Moses spoke to the people: “Don’t be afraid. Stand firm and watch God do his work of salvation for you today. Take a good look at the Egyptians today for you’re never going to see them again.”
Fear seems genuinely called for in this situation. The Egyptians are bearing down with their horse-drawn chariots, arrows, and spears on the weary Israelites, traveling by foot with all their possessions. The Israelites don’t stand a chance, and they know it. In the verse just before the one above, The Message translation of the Bible notes “They were totally afraid. They cried out in terror to God.”
How could anyone not be afraid in such circumstances—even after witnessing the miraculous events that God has just authored in the mass Exodus from Egypt?
The part that hits home for me is the lament the Israelites make in the midst of their terror. They say to Moses, “Weren't the cemeteries large enough in Egypt so that you had to take us out here in the wilderness to die? … Didn’t we tell you, ‘Leave us alone here in Egypt—we’re better off as slaves in Egypt than as corpses in the wilderness.’”
It’s easy to judge the Israelites because we know the end of the story. We know if they’d just held on, they would soon witness an even greater miracle than what had already transpired. But their lament, their desire to stay safely in a captivity they know and understand, versus in a freedom where they have no idea what the future holds—I get that. I have opted, just like the Israelites, to stay in a life I knew rather than take the great, terrifying leap into the unknown, until the decision was made for me—a story I wrote about here.
How often, when the pain, intense discomfort, and uncertainty of transformation becomes too much, do we long for the familiarity of our old captivity? We convince ourselves we lived in comfort and in peace—when we were anything but free to be our true selves.
Here’s the scariest thing of all. If I am free—then I am responsible for the choices I make. I have no excuse, no victimhood to fall back on, if my life doesn’t turn out as I hope. I must face that I have agency to create a life—or not—that gives full expression to the Light inside me. What gives me hope in the midst of this very real fear is that, just as God did for the Israelites, God accompanies me in the wilderness of an unknown future.
I really like the last paragraph; "If I am free--then I'm responsible for the choices I make. I have no excuse, no victim hood to fall back on....." When I look out on the horizon today I see way too many people who don't want to take responsibility for the choices they've made, and what's worse it appears that many of these choices were made with little or nor analysis, no clear thinking. I believe that has brought us to the current political malaise of the present. I think a lot of people are going to have to wake up and start taking responsibility if they truly want their lives to improve because I don't believe someone else is going to do it for them.